We have a 15 month-year-old, and we successfully took her on her first-ever 14.5-hour flight to South Africa, where my entire side of the family lives. We knew the trip would be daunting, but we didn't want to wait any longer. I come from a close-knit family, so to say we were all ready for it to finally happen is an understatement. James and I agreed that we'd wait for the baby to at least hit the year mark before we chanced it and I can't know what traveling earlier would have been like, but I'm glad we waited.

This post is about how we prepared for this endeavor and all the things that worked for us, that will hopefully work for you too.

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1. Take a Short Test Flight

This is the 'shallow end' version of taking your long-haul flight. It's a great way to test how your toddler will fair when it's time for the 'big one'. We took a 5-hour flight to Las Vegas over the Christmas break and it really helped to set us at ease about the long flight we knew was coming up in a few months.

A short test flight is effective because it has all the aspects of a flight that would be most concerning, so you get to see real reactions and to better prepare for them. In particular, you get to see how your child deals with takeoff and landing, which is an area of high discomfort due to the sudden changes in pressure. In adults, this can create the need to 'pop' your ears to get relief, and the same sensation can occur to your child. Even as an older child, I needed clear instructions to understand how to get my ears to pop. So, for a baby, it might be daunting to think of how you can help them without being able to clearly communicate. So what do you do?

Nurse/ Feed on Take-off and Landing

Magic milk. Getting your child to suckle during this time will naturally get them to facilitate the ear 'popping' mechanism needed for relief by way of the suckling motion. Not only that, but suckling also gives them something to focus on (don't ever underestimate the power of distraction), as well as soothing them in the way they most enjoy. Whether you're breastfeeding or providing a bottle, just cradle your baby and let them nurse for as long as they need to. If they fall asleep- even better.

2. Pee and Change Diapers Before Boarding

This is good advice, generally, but it's even more so when flying with a toddler. If your child is anything like mine, they don't exactly understand your need for 'alone time'. They want to be where you are, all the time, even when you go to the bathroom. On-the-ground bathrooms are big enough to allow for easy maneuvering with a small person. It's not ideal, but you can pee with a child. On a flight, the bathroom is cramped for just the regular person to go do their business, never mind a person with a baby. Think of it this way- every pee you do on the ground is one less pee you have to do in the air. If your flight is short enough, you may avoid having to use the plane bathroom altogether, but this is unlikely on a long flight. It might not seem like much, but one less bathroom break will be worth it in the long run

The same applies to diaper changes. On the ground, there are even larger bathrooms with baby change stations to make your life easier. Not so on a plane. The tiny change tray in the flight stall is a terrible joke in my opinion. I'm not exactly sure how a person is supposed to change a squirming child while balancing for sudden turbulence. I've often opted to just change Liyana at our seat with my husband shielding her from passersby. I can change a diaper very quickly and I've found it's less distressing for her (she hates changing stations in general), so I can get it done in a few minutes with no crying/ screaming. A win for everyone.

Just remember to dispose of the dirty diapers properly. I recommend a travel-size disposable diaper bag that you can dispose of when you reach your destination. Alternatively, dispose of it in the bathroom bin. Just don't leave it in your seat compartment while you wait for an attendant to collect it (like you would with regular trash). Not only does it feel rude, but it will also alert them to the fact that you just did a diaper change in your seat, which I'm almost certain you're not supposed to do.

Remember to pee and change diapers just before boarding, otherwise, you lose the time advantage.

3. Travel with a Companion

This may not always be possible as we all have different life circumstances. But, if you can- I highly recommend you bring a buddy. Traveling with another person means you have someone to hand off the baby to when you need to use the bathroom so you don't have to take them with you every single time. It means there's someone to shield your illegal seat diaper changes. It means you can take turns eating peacefully.

It's also just nice to not have to hold your child the whole time. It's nice to have the chance to take breaks, breathe, and even- dare I say it- sleep. Traveling with someone else can make the flight a much more bearable (if your baby is being a terror) experience, and even a pleasant one if they are being good.

4. Choose Your Seats Wisely

Where you sit can greatly affect the quality of your flight experience. There are a few things to consider, two of which I'd like to discuss in detail:

Ask for a 3-seater

Where possible, ask if you can get a 3-seater when checking in so that your baby can have a seat to themselves. Depending on how full the flight is, most flight attendants are happy to accommodate you. Kids under 2 fly free (you will be charged some fees) on most airlines because they are considered lap infants, meaning they don't get their own seats. By not buying them a seat, you essentially agree to hold them for the duration of the flight. So, if there are no extra seats and you can't be assigned a 3-seater- the airline is not at fault. However, it's still worth a try. We've gotten lucky on numerous flights by just asking.

Certain seats are louder than others

It's important to consider things like noise from the bathrooms. The suction sound from the toilet flushing on a plane can be really loud. If your seats are very close to the toilets, you'll hear it. Every. Single. Time. This might be a problem when trying to get your baby to sleep, when every small noise can be a deal-breaker. Also, consider that people tend to congregate around bathrooms when they wait for stalls to open up. While it’s not very common (in my experience), sometimes people talk to each other as they wait. Another place people talk and congregate is the back of the plane where they go to stretch and help themselves to extra snacks. I have found that people chatting at the back of the plane is very common. People tend to relax here, so keep that in mind when choosing seats.

Being behind the wind propellers can be a great place to sit with a baby as the constant humming sound will drown out the other noises of the plane and almost act like a white noise machine that can lull them to sleep.

Don't have good seats? Don't despair

If you do find yourself to be in a noisy part of the plane and there is no way to change seats, it's not the end of the world. Many parents have found themselves in the same situation and lived to tell the tale. And, there are some things you can do.

Bring noise-canceling baby headphones that you can put on them once they fall asleep so the sounds of the plane don't wake them up. If your child is anything like mine, such headphones can't be used to get them to fall asleep because she just pulls them off. But, once, asleep, I can slip them on to ensure an undisturbed sleep.

• Bring a portable white noise machine. This can also help the baby fall asleep by providing a constant, lulling sound that can effectively act as background noise.

5. Gate Check Baby's Things

If you fly, you know what 'checking in' is. 'Gate checking' simply means that you check-in items at your boarding gate. This is especially helpful for people traveling with small children who might need things like strollers for comfortable movement (because children are heavy) around the airport, but who don't want to be responsible for figuring out how to stow them away in the overhead compartments once on the plane. With that said, I recommend you get a travel stroller that easily folds to avoid frustration.

This should be as easy as getting a tag for your stroller/ item at the check-in desk, but allow for the extra time this might take you (because airlines are not all made equal), and enjoy the freedom and ease of having your stroller.

Maybe ditch the stroller?

Honestly, James and I try to skip this step whenever we travel. We're still nostalgic for when we were backpack warriors who could just zip through the airport, and we try to travel as close to this as we can. This means avoiding bulky items like strollers. We opt instead for a baby carrier so that one of us can carry the baby and her backpack, while the other carries our carry-on luggage. We love this one because baby girl is heavy now, and this has a hip seat that offers great support to brace the weight. I'm sure this won't be an option for much longer as Liyana continues to grow, or as we have more children. But while we can- we will.

This option might not work for you, and if that's the case- discard it. Choose what's right for you and your baby.

6. Have Enough Food and Milk for the Baby

This is a no-brainer. If your child isn't eating 'adult food' yet (which means you can't rely on the food given to you on the plane), then you need to pack the food that they do eat. Even if they can eat anything, you may want to pack the food you know they like anyway. If you primarily breastfeed like me, this isn't as much of a concern. If your baby takes formula, make sure you have enough of it to make their bottles.

7. Have a Fully Stocked Baby Bag

Be sure that you have everything that your baby needs or could need throughout the flight. It's impossible to give a comprehensive list of what your child might need because every child and every trip is different, but some things are staples, namely: a change of clothes (because babies); (more than enough) diapers; a diaper disposal bag, I love this one from Munchkin. We have the pail in the nursery and I'm so glad they make a travel version; wet wipes; baby blankets (maybe a light and a heavy one); baby lotion, the inside of a plane is a very dry environment; toys.

A great baby bag has compartments enough to comfortably house everything you need to carry, and then some.

8. Come Prepared with Distractions

Children need distractions. The younger they are, the more this holds. The things you bring don't need to be elaborate, a baby will be happy to play with a plane menu or a plastic cup, but they do need to be plentiful so you can rotate between them. A baby is only interested in one thing for so long before they get bored and need fresh stimulation. Bringing them something from home like their favorite doll/ action figure is a great way to keep them excited and engaged.

Here are some great things from amazon that my little one loves, or that are very similar:

a cuddly stuffed teddy bear, perfectly plush and quiet; a rattle; a singing book, just remember to set the volume to low. You know your child best, so bring along the sort of things you know they like to play with.

Be considerate of your fellow passengers- don't bring overly loud toys that will affect passengers that are trying to sleep or watch a movie.

Consider your tech

I recommend buying air Pods or another brand of wireless earbuds for yourself. Earphone cords are a magnet for baby hands. That means that any movie you try to watch will be continuously interrupted by your baby pulling the cord out of your ears and/ or the socket. It's not fun. I've also accidentally woken Liyana up when an earpiece hit her on the head. After working so hard to get her to fall asleep, I could have cried.

We all have feelings about little people and screen time. Whether you're vehemently against it or open to the idea, I think we can all agree that this form of tech is highly effective at getting and keeping a child's attention. For this reason, I think you should consider the option of an iPad or a kids tablet when flight time is north of 10 hours. Just having the option to buy yourself 15 minutes (or whatever you need) of joyous silence is surely worth it. You may not need to use it in the end, but having the option sure is nice.

9. Baby Tylenol, Just in Case

Babies fall ill, as a general rule. It's how they build their immune systems. My first line of defense is always the milk I naturally produce which shares the necessary antibodies with my baby as and when they are needed- but, sometimes I feel that she needs something stronger. When this happens, I like to be prepared. For this reason, I always have some baby Tylenol in the house. Similarly, when traveling, I like to have the same provisions in case my baby falls sick and needs it. So, I travel with Tylenol. Aside from aiding a sick baby, it can also soothe and help lull to sleep a hysterical one. I've been lucky in that I haven't had to use it, but I'd hate to wish I'd packed it.

10. Breathe

Traveling with a toddler is no easy feat, regardless of the mode, but doing it on a plane is probably the most anxiety-inducing because there are just so many things out of your control. In a car you can stop and get some fresh air when all else fails- this is not an option on a flight. So, knowing how to survive and keep your child (and yourself) calm and entertained is vital. I sincerely hope the suggestions and ideas shared in this post are helpful.

If all else fails, take long, deep breaths, count to five and remember that you love them. So. Much. Remember also that at some point, the plane will land and you would have survived your very long flight.

Please share any tips that work for you, I’d love to hear them.

Happy traveling,

Nonjabulo