Talent vs. Discipline: What's More Important for a Writer?

In a word- discipline. You could stop reading this post right now and you'll know just about everything I have to say on this topic, well...just about. This post will be a discussion on the two components that make a great writer, namely, discipline and talent- and why I think discipline is the most important of the two.

What is Talent?

Talent is a God-given gift that is actually quite difficult to define. You know it when you see it. In writing, it's a person's ability to structure words in a way that transforms. When I read from a talented writer, I'm taken on a journey. I connect to their voice, I'm moved by their prose, and I hang on to their every word. I'm not exactly sure how they achieve this, I just know that they do, and I appreciate it. I am thankful to have read what they wrote. Experiencing talent feels like a gift because it's rare but oh so magical.

Can a Writer Succeed Without Talent?

Yes. Most books and things in general that are written are by good writers. They aren't magical, they are good. They are also successful. They continue to produce material, are paid to produce that material, and that material continues to be widely read and circulated- even celebrated. This is the definition of writer success. So success isn't dependent on talent. Not even a little.

Can a Writer be Great Without Talent?

This is an opinion, so it's possible (and perhaps even likely) that yours will differ from mine. Still, I feel rather strongly that a writer can't truly be considered great without talent. They can have a great catalog, in terms of sheer works penned, for example. They can be great in a particular aspect of their writing- like maybe they are exceptional at character development- but, if their overall writings aren't awe-inspiring in that way that those of talented writers are, then I can't consider them to be great. They may enjoy great success, but there's certain acclaim I can't afford them. Conversely, a talented writer may have no measurable success- but their work will still be incredible.

What is Discipline?

Discipline can be thought of as a measure of self-control or an ability to obey a set ideal (like a rule). In this case, it’s a writer's ability to obey the rules they create for the development of their writing habit. If you decide to write every day, discipline is the thing that will make you write every day, even when you don’t want to, or when you feel you have nothing to say.

Can a Writer Succeed without Discipline?

No. Discipline is the difference between a finished novel and an unfinished one. If you write three chapters before abandoning your manuscript because you feel ‘uninspired’- even if those three chapters are the best-written content the world has ever seen- you will not have a book. You will remain an aspiring author.

If you soldier through and complete an okay first draft, you will have a book that you can then work on to get it to the level you want it to be. You will have a book that you can edit, publish, and sell. With this, you will be an author.

So, success rests on discipline.

Can a Writer be Great Without Discipline?

Yes. But, it is extremely rare. Still, I'd be remiss if I didn't acknowledge the existence of those writers we in the author community love to hate. The ones who wake up one morning, catch inspiration and write feverishly whilst in the grip of that ever-illusive muse, and capture magic in one draft. Then, they disappear for years on end, not bothering to write anything else until, one day, inspiration strikes again and they do it all over again.

While I don't know any of them in real life, such people do exist. They are the rarest of birds, that the general public seems to think are the norm because of how they are romantically portrayed in pop culture. Think of the many celebrated writers famous for their drunken binges and last-minute masterpieces.

I can understand why this is such a pervasive idea- it's the equivalent of catching lightning in a bottle. It's sexy and exciting. However, it's also unrealistic, impractical, and not replicable. I wouldn't count on it, is what I'm trying to say.

Compared to this, discipline is quite boring. It's step-by-step progress that moves you closer and closer to your goal until you reach it. It‘s a mundane day-to-day grind. Often, it’s not fun at all. But, it does get the job done, time and time again.

Why the Greatest Writers have both Talent and Discipline

I think it's obvious that the best and most prominent writers have copious amounts of both talent and discipline. The talent is what makes their works memorable and spectacular. It's what makes them cult classics that stand the test of time. The discipline is what allows them to continuously create such works and build catalogs that are simply awe-inspiring.

Think of William Shakespeare. What's amazing about his work is twofold (at least). Firstly, It's his interpretation of popular themes, and his unique style of bringing stories to life, all while making them accessible to a vast audience- this is his talent. Secondly, it's the sheer volume of his known works. He wrote so many works of literature, mainly plays (at least 38) and poems (at least 150), many of which are considered some of the finest in the English language. While I fully believe he had a great deal of inspiration that fueled his work, writing that much requires a great deal of discipline. I think that he understood that writing was his work and he treated it as such, day in and day out.

As a result, we still celebrate the man today, and he has had a very distinct hand in literature as we know it.

Can you Learn Talent?

Again, this is an opinion, and again, it's one I feel very strongly about. I don't think talent can be taught. I think people either have it or they don't. It's innate. We know it when we're in its presence because it lights us up. What it isn't, however, is a skill. So, it can't be taught or transferred. It sucks, I know.

Can you Learn Discipline?

Absolutely. Discipline is a skill. As such, it can be taught, improved, and perfected. At its core, discipline is about accountability to yourself. If you set a goal, you can (and should) break that goal down to daily tasks that you need to complete- then how well you're able to consistently complete those daily tasks is a measure of your self-discipline.

Like anything, a new habit takes time to form, and it's the repetitive doing of the task that solidifies its formation. If you want to write daily, you have to write daily. Eventually, it will become part of your routine and it will no longer seem difficult to do- but you'll only get there if you stick to the initial habit-forming phase. Your natural inclination will be to not do the thing (because you're starting with a different set of habits) but fight through. It will be worth it.

To develop and maintain a daily writing habit, I like to use a writing planner and word count tracker. This keeps me motivated and accountable. Being able to see my progress inspires me to keep making progress. I also like that this one allows me to plan and check off plot points as I get to them. I think this is an author must-have.

Without use, skills can also be lost. This is why you may have spoken a language as a child but lost it as an adult, or you used to be able to run a mile, but now struggle to fast walk to the end of the block- because you didn't maintain the practice. So, you need to stay in practice or you risk losing your newfound sense of discipline. Develop a daily habit and stick to it. This is very often the difference between success and failure.

Conclusion

Success in writing is most often determined by a person’s level of discipline, not their talent.

It's like the tortoise and the hare, where talent is the hare and discipline is the tortoise. In theory, talent can blow past discipline any day of the week and win without any real effort, and discipline seemingly doesn't stand a chance against sexy talent. In reality, however, discipline wins against talent that doesn't apply itself. At some point, dependability is more important than sex appeal. As the adage goes, slow and steady wins the race.

So, all things being equal, I think (in writing and life) it's more beneficial to cultivate discipline than to have talent. But I'll pray that we all be blessed with both.

Wishing you well wherever you are on your writing journey,

Nonjabulo

10 Steps to Prepare for a Long Distance (14.5 hours) Flight with a Toddler

We have a 15 month-year-old, and we successfully took her on her first-ever 14.5-hour flight to South Africa, where my entire side of the family lives. We knew the trip would be daunting, but we didn't want to wait any longer. I come from a close-knit family, so to say we were all ready for it to finally happen is an understatement. James and I agreed that we'd wait for the baby to at least hit the year mark before we chanced it and I can't know what traveling earlier would have been like, but I'm glad we waited.

This post is about how we prepared for this endeavor and all the things that worked for us, that will hopefully work for you too.

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1. Take a Short Test Flight

This is the 'shallow end' version of taking your long-haul flight. It's a great way to test how your toddler will fair when it's time for the 'big one'. We took a 5-hour flight to Las Vegas over the Christmas break and it really helped to set us at ease about the long flight we knew was coming up in a few months.

A short test flight is effective because it has all the aspects of a flight that would be most concerning, so you get to see real reactions and to better prepare for them. In particular, you get to see how your child deals with takeoff and landing, which is an area of high discomfort due to the sudden changes in pressure. In adults, this can create the need to 'pop' your ears to get relief, and the same sensation can occur to your child. Even as an older child, I needed clear instructions to understand how to get my ears to pop. So, for a baby, it might be daunting to think of how you can help them without being able to clearly communicate. So what do you do?

Nurse/ Feed on Take-off and Landing

Magic milk. Getting your child to suckle during this time will naturally get them to facilitate the ear 'popping' mechanism needed for relief by way of the suckling motion. Not only that, but suckling also gives them something to focus on (don't ever underestimate the power of distraction), as well as soothing them in the way they most enjoy. Whether you're breastfeeding or providing a bottle, just cradle your baby and let them nurse for as long as they need to. If they fall asleep- even better.

2. Pee and Change Diapers Before Boarding

This is good advice, generally, but it's even more so when flying with a toddler. If your child is anything like mine, they don't exactly understand your need for 'alone time'. They want to be where you are, all the time, even when you go to the bathroom. On-the-ground bathrooms are big enough to allow for easy maneuvering with a small person. It's not ideal, but you can pee with a child. On a flight, the bathroom is cramped for just the regular person to go do their business, never mind a person with a baby. Think of it this way- every pee you do on the ground is one less pee you have to do in the air. If your flight is short enough, you may avoid having to use the plane bathroom altogether, but this is unlikely on a long flight. It might not seem like much, but one less bathroom break will be worth it in the long run

The same applies to diaper changes. On the ground, there are even larger bathrooms with baby change stations to make your life easier. Not so on a plane. The tiny change tray in the flight stall is a terrible joke in my opinion. I'm not exactly sure how a person is supposed to change a squirming child while balancing for sudden turbulence. I've often opted to just change Liyana at our seat with my husband shielding her from passersby. I can change a diaper very quickly and I've found it's less distressing for her (she hates changing stations in general), so I can get it done in a few minutes with no crying/ screaming. A win for everyone.

Just remember to dispose of the dirty diapers properly. I recommend a travel-size disposable diaper bag that you can dispose of when you reach your destination. Alternatively, dispose of it in the bathroom bin. Just don't leave it in your seat compartment while you wait for an attendant to collect it (like you would with regular trash). Not only does it feel rude, but it will also alert them to the fact that you just did a diaper change in your seat, which I'm almost certain you're not supposed to do.

Remember to pee and change diapers just before boarding, otherwise, you lose the time advantage.

3. Travel with a Companion

This may not always be possible as we all have different life circumstances. But, if you can- I highly recommend you bring a buddy. Traveling with another person means you have someone to hand off the baby to when you need to use the bathroom so you don't have to take them with you every single time. It means there's someone to shield your illegal seat diaper changes. It means you can take turns eating peacefully.

It's also just nice to not have to hold your child the whole time. It's nice to have the chance to take breaks, breathe, and even- dare I say it- sleep. Traveling with someone else can make the flight a much more bearable (if your baby is being a terror) experience, and even a pleasant one if they are being good.

4. Choose Your Seats Wisely

Where you sit can greatly affect the quality of your flight experience. There are a few things to consider, two of which I'd like to discuss in detail:

Ask for a 3-seater

Where possible, ask if you can get a 3-seater when checking in so that your baby can have a seat to themselves. Depending on how full the flight is, most flight attendants are happy to accommodate you. Kids under 2 fly free (you will be charged some fees) on most airlines because they are considered lap infants, meaning they don't get their own seats. By not buying them a seat, you essentially agree to hold them for the duration of the flight. So, if there are no extra seats and you can't be assigned a 3-seater- the airline is not at fault. However, it's still worth a try. We've gotten lucky on numerous flights by just asking.

Certain seats are louder than others

It's important to consider things like noise from the bathrooms. The suction sound from the toilet flushing on a plane can be really loud. If your seats are very close to the toilets, you'll hear it. Every. Single. Time. This might be a problem when trying to get your baby to sleep, when every small noise can be a deal-breaker. Also, consider that people tend to congregate around bathrooms when they wait for stalls to open up. While it’s not very common (in my experience), sometimes people talk to each other as they wait. Another place people talk and congregate is the back of the plane where they go to stretch and help themselves to extra snacks. I have found that people chatting at the back of the plane is very common. People tend to relax here, so keep that in mind when choosing seats.

Being behind the wind propellers can be a great place to sit with a baby as the constant humming sound will drown out the other noises of the plane and almost act like a white noise machine that can lull them to sleep.

Don't have good seats? Don't despair

If you do find yourself to be in a noisy part of the plane and there is no way to change seats, it's not the end of the world. Many parents have found themselves in the same situation and lived to tell the tale. And, there are some things you can do.

Bring noise-canceling baby headphones that you can put on them once they fall asleep so the sounds of the plane don't wake them up. If your child is anything like mine, such headphones can't be used to get them to fall asleep because she just pulls them off. But, once, asleep, I can slip them on to ensure an undisturbed sleep.

• Bring a portable white noise machine. This can also help the baby fall asleep by providing a constant, lulling sound that can effectively act as background noise.

5. Gate Check Baby's Things

If you fly, you know what 'checking in' is. 'Gate checking' simply means that you check-in items at your boarding gate. This is especially helpful for people traveling with small children who might need things like strollers for comfortable movement (because children are heavy) around the airport, but who don't want to be responsible for figuring out how to stow them away in the overhead compartments once on the plane. With that said, I recommend you get a travel stroller that easily folds to avoid frustration.

This should be as easy as getting a tag for your stroller/ item at the check-in desk, but allow for the extra time this might take you (because airlines are not all made equal), and enjoy the freedom and ease of having your stroller.

Maybe ditch the stroller?

Honestly, James and I try to skip this step whenever we travel. We're still nostalgic for when we were backpack warriors who could just zip through the airport, and we try to travel as close to this as we can. This means avoiding bulky items like strollers. We opt instead for a baby carrier so that one of us can carry the baby and her backpack, while the other carries our carry-on luggage. We love this one because baby girl is heavy now, and this has a hip seat that offers great support to brace the weight. I'm sure this won't be an option for much longer as Liyana continues to grow, or as we have more children. But while we can- we will.

This option might not work for you, and if that's the case- discard it. Choose what's right for you and your baby.

6. Have Enough Food and Milk for the Baby

This is a no-brainer. If your child isn't eating 'adult food' yet (which means you can't rely on the food given to you on the plane), then you need to pack the food that they do eat. Even if they can eat anything, you may want to pack the food you know they like anyway. If you primarily breastfeed like me, this isn't as much of a concern. If your baby takes formula, make sure you have enough of it to make their bottles.

7. Have a Fully Stocked Baby Bag

Be sure that you have everything that your baby needs or could need throughout the flight. It's impossible to give a comprehensive list of what your child might need because every child and every trip is different, but some things are staples, namely: a change of clothes (because babies); (more than enough) diapers; a diaper disposal bag, I love this one from Munchkin. We have the pail in the nursery and I'm so glad they make a travel version; wet wipes; baby blankets (maybe a light and a heavy one); baby lotion, the inside of a plane is a very dry environment; toys.

A great baby bag has compartments enough to comfortably house everything you need to carry, and then some.

8. Come Prepared with Distractions

Children need distractions. The younger they are, the more this holds. The things you bring don't need to be elaborate, a baby will be happy to play with a plane menu or a plastic cup, but they do need to be plentiful so you can rotate between them. A baby is only interested in one thing for so long before they get bored and need fresh stimulation. Bringing them something from home like their favorite doll/ action figure is a great way to keep them excited and engaged.

Here are some great things from amazon that my little one loves, or that are very similar:

a cuddly stuffed teddy bear, perfectly plush and quiet; a rattle; a singing book, just remember to set the volume to low. You know your child best, so bring along the sort of things you know they like to play with.

Be considerate of your fellow passengers- don't bring overly loud toys that will affect passengers that are trying to sleep or watch a movie.

Consider your tech

I recommend buying air Pods or another brand of wireless earbuds for yourself. Earphone cords are a magnet for baby hands. That means that any movie you try to watch will be continuously interrupted by your baby pulling the cord out of your ears and/ or the socket. It's not fun. I've also accidentally woken Liyana up when an earpiece hit her on the head. After working so hard to get her to fall asleep, I could have cried.

We all have feelings about little people and screen time. Whether you're vehemently against it or open to the idea, I think we can all agree that this form of tech is highly effective at getting and keeping a child's attention. For this reason, I think you should consider the option of an iPad or a kids tablet when flight time is north of 10 hours. Just having the option to buy yourself 15 minutes (or whatever you need) of joyous silence is surely worth it. You may not need to use it in the end, but having the option sure is nice.

9. Baby Tylenol, Just in Case

Babies fall ill, as a general rule. It's how they build their immune systems. My first line of defense is always the milk I naturally produce which shares the necessary antibodies with my baby as and when they are needed- but, sometimes I feel that she needs something stronger. When this happens, I like to be prepared. For this reason, I always have some baby Tylenol in the house. Similarly, when traveling, I like to have the same provisions in case my baby falls sick and needs it. So, I travel with Tylenol. Aside from aiding a sick baby, it can also soothe and help lull to sleep a hysterical one. I've been lucky in that I haven't had to use it, but I'd hate to wish I'd packed it.

10. Breathe

Traveling with a toddler is no easy feat, regardless of the mode, but doing it on a plane is probably the most anxiety-inducing because there are just so many things out of your control. In a car you can stop and get some fresh air when all else fails- this is not an option on a flight. So, knowing how to survive and keep your child (and yourself) calm and entertained is vital. I sincerely hope the suggestions and ideas shared in this post are helpful.

If all else fails, take long, deep breaths, count to five and remember that you love them. So. Much. Remember also that at some point, the plane will land and you would have survived your very long flight.

Please share any tips that work for you, I’d love to hear them.

Happy traveling,

Nonjabulo

How To: Make Peace With Your Current Reality As You Manifest

Manifesting as a concept seems to be something we think of as out there, probably because for most of us, it's centered around things we want. So things we don't have right now. This creates a space between us and our desire, so naturally, we extend that space to cover the entire process of manifestation. However, manifestation is what we do all day, every day. Realizing this, and accepting the reality we've created up to this point will help us understand the full manifestation power we each possess and help us to direct all of it in the direction of the reality we do want.

We are Always Manifesting

If you believe in manifestation, that is the ability to actively shape your reality with your thoughts, emotions, and general 'vibes'- then you have to believe it all the time. If you believe in the Law of Attraction and/or the Law of Assumption, then you have to accept that they are at play all the time, not just when your life looks the way you it to or when the outcomes are favorable.

A fundamental part of manifestation is the total acceptance of our role as the creator of our reality. This can be hard if your life is not what you want it to be. But there are no exceptions. This acceptance allows you to review your life circumstances through a critical lens, and although it might seem overwhelming and accusatory at first, it is actually empowering. Only by accepting that you're in charge of your life, can you accept that only you can change your life. The two go hand in hand.

You can start to ask empowering questions like, 'If I am creating my reality through my thoughts and beliefs, what am I believing about myself and others to create this reality?'

Related: Manifestation: It's not the thing you want, it's the feeling of it

Think of the law of gravity, we don't believe in that only when we want to fall or go down a slide. We know and accept that it's ever-present, even when we want to climb upstairs. All we do is apply the necessary effort to overcome it and move up, step by step. It's helpful to think of the Law of Attraction the same way. If the outcome isn't what you want, don't discredit the law, adjust your efforts.

How to Make Peace with your Current Reality

This is an exercise in giving yourself grace. It's as simple as saying, 'I didn't know what I didn't know, and that's okay.' This sentence lets you off the hook so you don't have to spend endless time going over loops of 'what did I do to make X happen?' in your head. Instead, you accept what is, and turn all your attention forward. Because the present is set, but you can (and do) still affect the future.

Take ownership of Your Thoughts and Feelings

Taking ownership of your manifestations starts with accepting that your thoughts and emotions create. So, taking control of your thoughts and emotions is how you take control of your manifestations. Many of us start off thinking that our emotions are reactions to external circumstances that are outside of our control. If someone cuts us off in traffic, we get angry and that feels natural. The truth is we define what 'natural' is. We always have a choice in how to feel. Nobody outside of yourself can make you feel anything without your cooperation. Reacting with anger when someone cuts you off is a choice. You can just as easily react with a calm indifference or even humor. Reactions can be trained, and just accepting that as an option, and better yet, a fact, will do wonders for shifting how you view your own reactions and those of others.

Next time something happens, regardless of what it is, just ask yourself, 'How do I choose to feel and react?'

This will help center you back into your power. Your power to choose how you utilize your emotions. Even outside of manifestation, pausing to ask this question whenever a situation arises will give you greater control over yourself. This is a great trait to cultivate for regular everyday life. You know those people that are just always calm and at ease? Don't you just like being in their presence- especially in a crisis? Now think of people that get easily overwhelmed and flustered, or who lose control and start yelling if anything happens in a way they didn't anticipate. Often the way they react to a situation can make it worse and you tend to want to avoid them if you can.

Your emotions are under your jurisdiction. You control them, not the other way around. With practice, this get's easier.

Match your Emotions with the Reality you Want

Now that you know how to control your emotions, it's time to make them work for you. The fundamental principle of the Law of Attraction is that when your vibration matches that of your desire, that's when you attract it into your life. The law of Assumption takes it a step further to say that when you embody the person that you will be when your desire is fulfilled, then it will be so. While I won't explore the differences in this post, I'd like to point out that these two laws are similar, yet there is a difference. Still, they both seem to tell us that the secret to materializing your desires is matching the feeling state of what it would be like if you were to already have said desire.

Let's look at an example:

Let's say you want to be a successful actor, then you want to sit and imagine as vividly as possible can just what your life would be like if this were already true. How would it feel to be a successful actor? If you are not yet one, then it would probably feel opposite to how you feel now. So you can test to see if you've successfully entered the feeling state of your desire (which is the goal) by checking to see if you feel opposite to how you normally feel about your desire.

Let's explore this further:

When you are desiring to be a successful actor, you would probably feel:

A sense of longing to be an actor; jealousy toward people who are successful actors; annoyance at your current job; a feeling of inadequacy; you may worry or have some anxiety about money.

When you successfully feel yourself to be a successful actor, you would probably feel:

Satisfied with your current standing in life; at peace about acting jobs as you know you have your pick of the best available; sure of yourself, confident; financially secure.

As you can see, the two people I've described above are fundamentally different. The you that desires something is completely different from the you that has that thing. That's why there's a gap between these two realities. To manifest, you have to match the feeling state of the you who has the thing, even though you don't yet.

It's not about Affirmations, it's about Feeling

You can affirm 'I am a successful actor' all day until you're blue in the face, but if you still feel like the version of you who wants to be a successful actor (which means you aren't yet), that will not become your reality. You have to feel like the version of you that is the successful actor; sure, confident, and satisfied. Then, your desired reality will manifest.

Practice Daily

Take the time to feel into the reality that you want. Train that vibration to be your default. Use your imagination and be so familiar with what having your desire will feel like that you can instantly feel it when you move away from that feeling. Then reset as many times as you need to. Remember, practice makes perfect. If you find yourself feeling anxious, frustrated, or dissatisfied, this is a clear sign that you're not in alignment with your desire. Were you in alignment, you'd feel the satisfaction of having your desire and you would be at ease. So, being emotionally aware is important so you can course-correct quickly and effectively.

Related: Momentum in Manifesting

Conclusion

Manifesting can start to feel like this thing that happens out there when nothing could be further from the truth. Manifesting is what we do all day, every day. It's just that most of us do it unawares. We fall victim to our own thoughts and emotions- which are our manifestation tools-and start to feel like what we manifest is beyond our control. This is also not true and taking ownership of the reality we've created is the first step on the journey to shaping the reality we want.

Self-mastery is critical for intentional manifestation, and that begins with mastering your thoughts and emotions. Our thoughts and, more importantly, our emotions, are the greatest windows into what we're in the process of manifesting at any given moment. By being emotionally aware and intentionally matching our feelings to the reality we want, we can start to manifest mindfully.

I hope this post helps you as you figure out the best ways to practice this in your own life.

Take care,

Nonjabulo