11 Signs of The Spiritual Awakening Process I'm Going Through

It's difficult to declare that I'm going through a spiritual awakening- I imagine one can only say that with certainty after they come out the other side and can clearly recognize the transformation.

That said, I think a spiritual awakening is what I'm currently undergoing. I know something's different and I feel that things have shifted within me, perhaps forever. This post is my way of making sense of it. Hopefully, it helps someone else too.

What My Spiritual Awakening Looks Like

Here is a list of the 11 things that have changed in my life during this process of spiritual awakening:

1. I've Become Super Clean

2. I've Stopped Drinking

3. I've Started Semi-Fasting

4. I'm Having Vivid Dreams

5. I'm Having Scary/ Weird Dreams

6. My Sleeping Habits Have Changed

7. I've Become A Smudger

8. I'm Reassessing My Relationships

9. I Feel The Energy Of The Collective

10. I Consume A Great Deal Of 'Spiritual Awakening' Content

11. I Meditate And Pray

1. I've Become Super Clean

I feel connected to and get affected by my physical surroundings in a way I didn't before. When they are dirty I feel gross and when they are messy, my brain is foggy. As a result, I find myself willingly and joyfully cleaning or tidying up all the time. I have to be in a clean environment.

I understand this as my concept of self has expanded to include my environment. I believe that as I continue to grow spiritually, this concept will continue to expand until it finally encompasses all of creation (mind explosion signs).

I've always heard spiritual 'Gurus' talk about a deep sense of connectedness to all things and even 'seeing themselves in everyone'...I could be reaching, but I think this shift and expansion in the self-concept is how this happens.

Related Read: Clean Your House: How Your Environment Affects Your Manifestation

2. I've Stopped Drinking

Okay, not completely- not yet, but I feel rather strongly that it's coming. Alcohol has generally been a part of my life to varying degrees since I discovered it in university. I have long since graduated past the desire to drink as much as I can- I hate (and have always hated) feeling drunk and later, hungover. I drink for taste and enjoyment.

Having been pregnant and currently breastfeeding has also affected how much I (can) drink at a time and I suppose it has been on a steady decline over time. What this looks like is I typically don't drink at all during the week and will enjoy tasty adult beverages with Dear Husband at the weekend- I love wine and I enjoy a great beer.

So What's Changed?

I no longer have the desire to drink. I've observed myself at a few social gatherings that would have been a great time to indulge with loved ones in the past and found I had no desire to do so. I drank water, and when I did have a beverage, I was acutely aware of how it affected me.

It's like I could feel it moving through my body, making my head pound and my body sluggish. I'm aware of and dislike how even a single glass of wine makes me feel the next morning. I'm also aware of how it affects other people and in general, witnessing people overindulge is less okay and definitely less charming than it used to be.

Now, we're all adults and I have no desire to control the lived experiences of other people- I'm just making a note of my shift in perspective because I find it so interesting.

I don't like alcohol anymore and it feels like it's getting ready to make an effortless exit from my life.

3. I've Started Semi-Fasting

I first read up on intermittent fasting years ago (remember when it was all the rage) and I thought, 'hmm, that's interesting' and moved on with my life. To understand why this didn't become a thing I wanted to try, you'll have to know just how much I love food. My eating style could be described as 'constant grazing', I ate little bits all day long.

What's Changed?

I now find myself wanting to not eat as much and, more specifically, to stretch the length of time when I'm not eating. I am getting increasingly aware of how food affects my body and fasting for part of the day seems to just make sense. This is quite insane for me. It's also not difficult which is perhaps the most insane part.

I believe my new eating habits and my elimination of alcohol are my new desire for cleanliness stretching out to every sphere of my life. In this case, it's cleanliness of mind and body. For now, it's been more important for me to change how I eat, but I won't be surprised in the least if I begin to feel called to change what I eat as my general awareness heightens.

Everything in its time. I will not rush the process and I will continue to keep you informed.

4. I'm Having Vivid Dreams

This is perhaps the most exciting and scary symptom, for lack of a better word, of this process. I've always loved dreams. I come from a culture that understands them to be communications from our ancestors warning of danger, talking of things to come, or just giving us a visit. I also understand them to be a revelation of our subconscious mind. Either way, I've always enjoyed dreaming and interrogating what each dream could mean.

Throughout this process, I've found that my dreams have become more vivid and obscure. I'm not dreaming daily, but I enjoy and respect these 'communications' so much that I wish I was. There is no rhyme and reason to how and when I dream, it seems to happen in bursts where I'll have three dreams in a day followed by a dry spell for weeks or months.

5. I'm Having Scary/ Weird Dreams

Dreams aren't all made equal and while some are enlightening, mind-blowing, or just sweet, some are quite scary. Without getting into the specifics of my dreams, I can share that the ones that made a big impression and stayed with me can be grouped into a few categories by way of motifs.

Motifs In My Dreams

Vulnerability- I've dreamt of myself naked; of my teeth falling out.

Danger- I've dreamt of myself running for dear life; being attacked by animals.

Familial- I've dreamt of a lot of family members, living and not. I've dreamt of myself in various family homes.

Animalistic- I've seen quite a lot of wild animals in my dreams; lions, leopards, snakes, fish, and dolphins.

All that said, even when my dreams scare me and make me afraid to fall asleep, I feel sad when they stop.

6. My Sleeping Habits Have Changed

I now wake up at 5 am, effortlessly. Now, I have wanted to be a part of the 5 am club forever, but I could never make it in on account of the whole 5 am thing. I am not a morning person.

Before my baby, my natural wake-up was around 10 am or 11 am, and I would sleep around 2 am. Since having a child, this has regulated itself to match her cycle. I would wake up at around 8 am or 9 am and sleep at around midnight- I lived for the few hours of 'me time' after putting her down at around 10 pm. But not anymore.

What's Changed?

As of late, I sleep at midnight and wake up at 5 am. I am not tired. In fact, I am ultra-productive. I use all this regained time to consume spiritual (and spiritual adjacent) content, clean my house, connect with friends, cook healthy dinners, play with my daughter, meditate, take long baths, and of course, write. It's amazing.

7. I've Become A Smudger

I'm now hyper-aware of the 'energy' of things and feel the need to maintain a clean space. I've already discussed that I've been doing this physically, but I do it energetically as well. I've always been empathic (being able to feel other's people energy/ emotions) and whatever this process is has heightened this quality. So, when I sense bad energy in my space, I clear it and I feel so much happier and lighter after.

8. I'm Reassessing My Relationships

I'm an introvert (so groups of people drain my energy) and an empath (I am highly sensitive to and can easily take on other people's energy) and these qualities have also been heightened during this process. As a result, I'm weary of how I give of myself energetically. I'm hyper-aware of how people make me feel and have found myself unable to maintain relationships with people who pull energy from me without replenishing it.

Read: Friendship Boundaries for Empaths

I check in with myself to see how I feel after talking to certain people and if the answer is 'drained' then we're done- at least for now. Last month (July), I found myself ghosting people and even my tendency to people-please couldn't override my need to protect my energy. My spirit said no.

9. I Feel The Energy Of The Collective

Connected to and expanding on my previous point, last month I found myself unable to do anything. I hardly worked out. I didn't publish a single blog post and the thought of writing even 100 words in a day felt like too much. I just felt very low.

My thinking is I absorbed a lot of the negative energy of the month- in the U.S. women's rights were being taken away; the news is always depressing; a few close friends were in crisis, and the world is generally on fire. I do my best (and quite well) to not over ingest the media negativity, but regardless, I just felt down. So my belief is that my ability to connect to the collective energy has been heightened. For better or worse.

10. I Consume A Great Deal Of 'Spiritual Awakening' Content

In July, when I couldn't do anything, I did have the energy and appetite for listening and learning. I let my interest guide me and I consumed a copious amount of spiritual awakening content and it's apparently all that I want to read or hear about.

This has led me to explore adjacent and parallel spheres of content, like African spirituality, and the more I learn the more I want to know. I read (read: inhaled in a few days) an entire novel-length thesis about someone's Sangoma initiation process. I'm asking my friends about their dreams. My YouTube history is quite interesting.

11. I Meditate And Pray

I have been feeling the desire to both meditate and pray more. It's how I want to start and end my day. I think of meditation as a tool for the connection of mind, body, and spirit. As a quieting of the mind and a diminishing of the 'Ego' so that I may feel the 'God' spirit within me. I think of praying as talking to God. As such, it makes sense that I would crave to do both of these more during this time.

I haven't quite managed to do it daily, but this is more an issue of time management and personal planning, not a lack of desire. So, I feel strongly that soon this will be a part of my daily routine.

Read: What Meditation Feels Like (For Me)

Conclusion

I think I'm going through a spiritual awakening and these are all the ways it's currently playing out for me. I'm asking a lot of questions and searching and listening for the answers.

I can't say I know anything yet, there is a whole world of both information and knowledge out there- but I know more than when I first began, and something in me has been awakened and is searching. For now, that's enough.

What's going on in your spiritual life? Do I sound slightly insane? What even is life?

Here's to questioning.

Nonjabulo

Friendship Boundaries for Empaths To Protect You From Energy Vampires

I think I’m going through a spiritual awakening and, as a result, there have been some major shifts in my life. From food to sleeping habits to how I clean my house. Today, I wanted to focus on one of the most impactful areas of change- close relationships.

This post will discuss how I now set and keep boundaries within my personal relationships as an empath or energetically sensitive person.

What Is An Empath?

As I understand it, an empath is someone who is highly sensitive to energy, particularly that of other people. So, as an empath, if someone is upset- you absorb their energy and then you're upset, even if the thing they're upset about has nothing to do with you. Your emotions and energy simply pick up on and often match those of the people around you. This can be quite taxing.

This ability isn't limited to people's emotions, it extends to the energy of things and places. Ever walk into a room and feel depressed or inexplicably creeped out? Chances are you're picking up on the energetic remnants of things that happened there in the past, things that were probably depressing and creepy.

Why Is It Important To Protect Your Energy?

Simply- because empaths are highly energetically sensitive, their energy can be drained easily. When drained, they are left feeling low, tired, and unable to interact and contribute in a way they may have otherwise wanted to.

For an empath, one negative encounter in the morning can derail an entire day.

If you are an empath, there are coping strategies that can help you to better protect yourself and your energy, because you still need (and probably want) to fully engage with life. However, this post is more focused on setting boundaries for the relationships you already have in place.

What Is An Energy Vampire?

These are people who get their energy from others but in a purely negative way.

An energy vampire dumps their negative energy on you in exchange for all your positive energy. They may do this knowingly or unknowingly.

This exchange will always leave you utterly depleted. I often find myself doing things to reenergize myself because just going home to be alone (which would normally work for my introverted self) isn't quite enough. I’ll soak in a bath, or sit out on the deck and enjoy the sun. It will take me a while to be able to do anything that requires energy because I’m so depleted.

Trouble is, it can be difficult to know that someone is an energy vampire until after your interaction and by then it’s too late. This is worsened by the fact that energy vampires are masters at finding people who are open and empathetic as these opposing energies attract. You give and they take. It’s quite a perfect system except it doesn’t serve the empath. And this is why boundaries are important.

What Are Boundaries And Why Are They Important?

Boundaries are lines we draw around ourselves for our protection. Their purpose is to mark extremities that can’t be crossed, physically and/ or emotionally, so that everyone is clear on what they are and are not allowed to do to us.

For an empath, these center around protecting your energy, which is best gauged by your emotions.

What Energetic Boundaries Can Look Like:

• If you’re talking to someone and you start to feel physically tired, you can recognize that they’re draining you and end the conversation.

• If you have a family member you love but who is clearly an energy vampire, you can choose to limit the frequency and length of the interactions you have with them.

• If you’re not in a good place emotionally (say you’re angry or depressed), you won’t engage in any emotionally charged conversations. Or you’ll avoid people you know like to engage in such conversations.

Why Boundaries Sometimes Slide In Close Relationships

Our boundaries can slide because we love our friends and those closest to us. When we love people, we tend to make excuses for them. Added to this, loving them means we’re already emotionally charged within the relationship. So, if they tell us about a situation that they’re emotionally invested in, it’s very easy for us to do the same.

However, as an empath, it’s important to keep this in check. Love doesn’t have to mean taking on other people’s baggage. With some clearly defined boundaries and some practice, you can learn to give support and show love without embarking on an endless energy-draining emotional rollercoaster.

Friendship Boundaries To Always Keep Firm

I'm Not Your Therapist

A big part of friendship is sharing the highs and lows of life. However, being someone's friend does not equate to you being their therapist.

Firstly, most of us are not qualified and even if you are, this expectation can quickly become burdensome. So, remind yourself that while you can be a loving and listening ear, you are not responsible for unpacking all of your friend's issues.

When you start to feel this expectation creep in and you're not wanting to take it on, clearly (gently but firmly) tell your friend that you love them but you're not equipped to solve this for them in the way that a therapist might. Then offer to help them look for one.

Your Problems Are Not My Problems

This is not one to be said to your friends, but rather one to say to yourself as you interact with your friends. Empaths can easily take on other people's emotions and carry the burden of their problems.

This comes from caring but it doesn't help anyone. For a time, your friend might feel better having shared their issue, and you might feel good about being there for a friend. However, if you get dragged down to their emotional level, you will both wallow.

This will put you at the vibration of the problem and not the solution, so even your advice is unlikely to be helpful. Worse still, you will be left stuck in that emotional state, so even though you don't have that problem, energetically you do. You've allowed your friend to drag you down with them.

To avoid this, you need to intentionally put distance between yourself and other people's problems.

Listen lovingly, but don't adopt your friends' issues as your own.

When you feel yourself start to get depressed as they share the terrible state of their marriage/ job, silently remind yourself 'this is not my life. I can support her without feeling like her'.

This is even helpful for tv, which is more intrusive and impactful than some of us realize. When you see something terrible on the news, or in a movie (real or not), remind yourself that you don't have to engage emotionally with it.

A useful phrase is 'this is just information’. Now, I'm not saying don't have empathy- which should go without saying as this post is dedicated to empaths- I'm just saying have empathy in a way that is self-protective first.

Your Growth Is Your Job

As the saying goes, 'you can take the horse to water but you can't force it to drink'. You can give your friend all the best advice in the world, but they have to do the work of implementing it.

You can't grow for people and you can't solve their problems for them. Even if you're successful, it will cripple them and set unhealthy expectations.

If you ever start to feel you're expected to fix the problem, gently remind them and yourself that 'I can only advise as best I can, but you have to do what's best for you'. And if they seem to be in the same situation repeatedly, which is a clear sign they are not learning and growing from their mistakes and experiences, this is also not your problem.

You may point out the pattern and even give advice, but they and they alone are responsible for the action they take.

You Don't Have Unlimited Access To My Time And/ Or Resources

Friendship is about closeness and sharing, but it doesn't mean that you'll always be there to help, because you can't. You have a whole life with your own issues, obligations, interests and not to mention other relationships that are important to you.

All of these other components of your life need your time and attention, and you can't effectively attend to them if your time is constantly being taken up by one particular person and their problems. It isn't fair and it isn't friendship.

When you find yourself wondering if your friend will be okay if you take a weekend away- you've allowed them to become too big a part of your everyday life and decision-making process. Your time should always feel like your own. No one is entitled to it.

Set a clear boundary and communicate it. You may also just implement the boundary and let them figure it out or, if it's a good friend that you feel you owe an explanation, you can find a gentle but firm way to do so. This can sound like:

'Hey, I've been struggling to attend to my other relationships and interests because of the time I dedicate to you. I care about you and I want to help, but I'd like to pull back a bit so I can do it in a way that is healthy for me. Right now, that looks like only seeing you X times a month, and for Y long. I hope you understand.' They may not, but that isn't your problem.

My Life Is Just As Important As Yours

In any friendship, you need to talk about and prioritize your friend and their life just as much as you and your life. Obviously, this changes if one of you is going through something that requires a great deal of support- but it shouldn’t be the norm.

Healthy relationships are built on reciprocity. This means you pour into me as I pour into you. If the giving and taking are one-sided, that is a sign of abuse.

Empaths tend to give energetically, so this could look like you (the empath) always being the one to receive the other person's negativity and then inheriting the responsibility of transmuting that into something hopeful and positive for them, so that they leave you feeling better, but you're left feeling drained.

This is not healthy and it is not your job. If this is the dominant dynamic within your relationship, it's not fair to you and you need to clearly and firmly address it. Or, if you're certain the other person won't change, it might be time to end the relationship or greatly limit the access this person has to you.

Conclusion

Navigating adult friendships can be tricky, particularly as someone who is energetically sensitive. The bottom line is that if you’re an empath, you need to protect your energy and your relationships should be a safe space for you where your openness and sensitivity aren’t taken advantage of.

I hope the article helps you to recognize when you’re in an unhealthy relationship and the boundaries I’ve outlined help you to re-establish that balance.

Here’s to looking after ourselves and building healthy relationships.

Talk soon,

Nonjabulo

What Meditation Feels Like (For Me)

Meditation means different things to different people, so this isn’t a guide. You’ll have to find what it means and what it feels like for you. This has been my experience and I wanted to record it. If it mirrors yours- yay! If it doesn't mirror yours- also yay!

I’ve had an on-again-off-again relationship with meditation for years. I feel called to get back into it, and this post is about what it feels like when I meditate.

What Meditation Is

I think of meditation as a tool for the connection of mind, body, and spirit. It's a quieting of the mind and a diminishing of the 'Ego' so that we may feel the 'God' or 'Source' spirit within...and without. I think every person must experience it for themselves and then define it for themselves.

To rely solely on the advice of another is a great disservice to the value and power of your experience.

Be guided if it feels right, but don't allow that external guidance to overshadow your internal knowing.

What Meditation Feels Like For Me

Here is a list of my physical and psychological symptoms during meditation.

1. I Feel Like I’m Floating

When I ‘come to’ I find that the bed/ chair/ floor I’m sitting on is 'down there'. As though I was somehow floating above it. It's a bit alarming at first, but also very cool. It takes me a few minutes to get back to ‘normal’.

2. I Feel Like I Expand

When I ‘come to’ I find that the room feels small, or like I’m taking up more of it. My concept of self or what I consider to be ‘me' gets larger.

When I open my eyes, it’s as if I can see the room from more than just the viewpoint of my eyes. I’m seeing it from the walls, from the floor, from the roof, and from my eyes- all at the same time. It's as though I am in the floor, the walls, and the roof. It’s like magic.

I think in meditation, all our awareness is pulled within to our spirit- or whatever it is that is within us that is our life force. I believe this spirit is one with what I consider to be God.

In choosing to focus on this inner spirit, we allow ourselves to tap into what it feels like, which is expensive, infinite, and weightless. So, coming out of this infinite state and back into our bodies, we will feel a sudden restriction, heaviness, and smallness.

3. I Have No Physical Ailments

I discovered this while meditating before bed the other night. I’d spent the day suffering from sharp, electric pains in my body (particularly down my right leg). I have no idea what brought it on, only that it was incredibly uncomfortable.

I meditated, with no particular purpose outside of calming my mind before sleep. When I came out of the meditation, I had no physical pain. I think it’s more accurate to say I couldn’t feel my body- or I felt like I didn’t have a body (?!). Either way, I was free of physical discomfort.

Note: The discomfort did come back a few minutes after I came out of the meditation. So apparently, this is a benefit that only lasts while in the meditative state.

4. My Body Shakes and Vibrates

I get shudders. Whole body, involuntary. I can’t quite explain these yet, neither their purpose nor origin, but I know that they are quite a fixture in my meditation experience. Hopefully, with time, I'll come to understand more.

Interestingly, I have always experienced these shudders in my waking life. They are like mini tremors I experience daily at what seems to me like random times. I think it will be interesting and perhaps illuminating to try and pinpoint what triggers them.

Over the next few months, when these mini shudders happen, I’ll make it a point to ask myself:

• What’s happening right now?

• What am I thinking about right now?

• How am I feeling right now?

I think doing this over a long enough period will cause a picture to form around what they might mean for me. If it's worth it, I promise to report back.

5. I May Get Visions

These may be flashes of light (with my eyes closed) or clear images in my mind's eye. So far, they appear to be completely random and I’m not sure they are significant in any way. I've seen strange patterns that flash and then disappear. I've seen images of people I've never met. I've also seen nothing.

My thought is that these are just the (mis)firings of an overactive brain as it calms down. That said, I'm open to it being more significant than that, and I will report back should it prove to be so.

6. I Feel Like I Disappear

No thoughts. No brain. Nothing. I feel such deep mental clarity. It’s as though my mind literally didn’t exist and I'm just somewhere in an empty void, but in a really good and liberating way.

Note: This doesn’t always happen, sometimes I fail to detach and it feels like my thoughts are running in a loop. But when I do successfully quiet my mind, it’s incredible.

7. I May Get a Clear Answer

If I entered my meditation with a question, when I come out of it- I may have an answer to that question. For me, this comes as a clear and definite knowing (sadly no audible voices for me). I sit, breathe, and have my answer.

Conclusion

The experience of meditating can be so elusive. In sharing mine, I hope to shed some light for those who want some idea of what to possibly expect on their meditation journey. I can't promise what I've shared will help, but perhaps it's enough just to know that someone is out there meditating and trying to make sense of it all along with you.

Do any of these things happen to you when you meditate? I’d love to know.

Happy breathing,

Nonjabulo